thankful for the present

Recently had an infection. It got so damn bad that I nearly had to go to the hospital.
Of course, I'm on medication again.
Taking a look back, I realised I visited the doctor's a lot of times this year. ((Which is bad, duh ))
A few times back was because of my skin allergy.
Then, gastric pain.
And then now, infection.
It was so painful that I cried HAHAHA really. It was so damn painful and bloody, my friend was so scared but she gave her hand for me to grab and scream..
Today, because I always have to apply medicine on the infected area and always have to swallow huge tablets (argh ) , Oh shit did I say that the infected area is on my ear??? So I can't see my ear and I can't apply the med on my own so my friend had to lend a hand. Today, someone applied the Med on the area. It didn't hurt as much as before, but on the contrary, it was ITCHY. BUT IF I SCRATCH IT THE WOUND WILL GET WORSE.
you may think being infected on the ear is a small issue, but I think I risked my life for it omg. The doctor applauded me for being brave! ((Bhb))
for the first time, I felt people caring for me, showing me love. I used to think I've always been outcasted.
But today, they took great care of me and honestly I was thankful for being sick, to be able to see their thoughtfulness towards me. But on the other hand, no I hate being sick. I hate medicine. I can take 30mins just to swallow a pill.
Thank you God, for giving me such wonderful friends.

first day of work.

My second job ever.
TIRING AFFFFFF.
BANQUET WAITRESS.
never thought working at banquet would be so difficult I went for it just for the pay.
Firstly, I have to hold a tray of three cocktails and balance it with my left hand. NO FUCKING IDEA WHY, PROBABLY BECAUSE IT WAS MY FIRST TIME, I KEPT TREMBLING. NON-STOP.
luckily, I only did that for an hour or so.
Secondly, I have to serve hot Chinese tea with the pot to three rows of tables. OBVIOUSLY I'M SCARED BC FIRSTLY, IT'S HOT. SECONDLY, I HAVE SWEATY PALMS I CANT HOLD THE POT WELL. THIRDLY THERES AN AUNTIE WHO KEPT NAGGING AT ME FOR BEING USELESS. ZZZZZ.
thirdly, ok nvm. I guessed the managers gave up on me and gave me easier jobs than others. For example, refilling guests' water, getting a new glass, carry plates to the kitchen, just fufill whatever the guests/manager says.
And. MY LEG WAS PAINFUL AF. i was wearing black higher platform shoes and the shoes was so painful for wearing it for six hours ++ and standing with the same posture.
I think i can build muscles sia I carried so many heavy stuff ))):
Ok

31 august.

Oh hey hello! 😊😊
Okie, I'm back with a short update.
Honestly, It had been such a hectic school year. Homeworks, studies, exams, tests, exams and exams. Sometimes, it does get a little tough I must say. Getting into many different kinds of situations made me not having the desire to leave this school at all. Oh and I faced some problems recently. Something I can't explain and the only thing I know is to avoid problems. I CANT FACE SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN AFRAID OF MY WHOLE LIFE LIKE WTF. IM SORRY I ONLY KNOW HOW TO AVOID AND NOT ONLY CHOOSE TO SEE/HEAR THE THINGS I CAN ACCEPT.
okie, back on track. Exams. My finals. IN TWO BLOODY WEEKS. DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS?! LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR EXAMS THE ENTIRE YEAR AND BOOM FINALLY IT'S HERE.
Okie erm so yeap, whenever I have things bugging me, I will usually run. Ok like crazy. (( i mean literal run which means i will run around the stadium or smth)) I don't like to share my problems. Well, I used to, but not anymore. It tend to lead to even worse consequences.
Idk, something that always keeps me going is partly because I have a dream. Well, I WONT EXPOSE YET AHAHAHAAHA. and LUHANNNNNNNN FROM EXO. HE IS BLOODY PERFECT LIKE OMG CAN YOU STOP BEING SO ATTRACTIVE 😍😍😍😍😍 ( OMG MY PHONE CANT UPLOAD PICTURES CRIES)


我最害怕的是，曾经拥有过又再失去.

20th june.

Okay, sorry for being so dead on this space nowadays.
Firstly, this june holidays is pretty shitty.
going school for the first two weeks.... the third week i just spent time rushing out homeworks.
and yknow what? one more week till school reopens and I'm down with high fever.
FEELS TERRIBLE. I CAN BARELY SLEEP.
okie at arnd like 1am? my temp was 39.3.
pretty high for someone like me. because i rarely fall sick.
at like 4am? my temp was 38.9.

was feeling dizzy the whole night and i had to wake my dad up just to take medicine.

so I did nothing much productive this june holidays.

plus, my prelims are coming.

ohgod. 

can u kill me now.

feeling terrible bc i hate taking medicine. (i mean who likes it?)

-thanks for visiting here readers! love yall! ^^

just need someone that can handle how unstable i am

Have you ever went through this point in your life which you came from the very top and you fell?
What would you do?
Will the ones who were there for you when you were at your peak, will still be there?
Will you stand up, and then not let the sadness consume you?
Well, I don't know.
I wouldn't say this is the most difficult time in my life ((since I'm still young))
but I did ((currently still)) experience, how does it feel to be alone, lonely, no one by your side to really understand you. That's when I know I wasn't fitting in. fitting in this awkward social circle, and then let the comments of others consume me.
Well honestly, i didnt really care much, but some of the ones that are close to me do, and that... kinda affects me. A lot.

Sometimes, (( well more like most of the time )) I will always try to fit in, make them like me, leave a good impression, be better than my past self so people won't look down on me.
But, I guess I tried too hard.

Either way, I still lose the ones which I valued much.
Of course it hurts, but most of the time when people questions about it,

I prefer not to say. I'm not sure why either.. Probably when I said it, things will get even more worse and blah.

Sometimes, I would cry to sleep at night, thinking of what went wrong, and those people who left me.
 I guess, people were born to be alone anyway, it's fine.

I definitely will have to do better, be positive and overcome the challenges that I am going to face in future. Looking forward to a better day.
 " Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you have to keep moving forward. "
   Thanks for reading.

31 May

YOOOOOOOOOOO PEEEEPS
actually this is the first time I've been so relaxed after exams.
so yayyyyyy~ I went "swimming" today (((tbh i can't swim)))
but it was so exciting and all hehehe.
went with my bae syahirah hehehe ♡

before swim

after swim heh

and then we went shopping! 

hehe there are amazing promotions since it is GSS period now hehe! ^_^ 

alright, till then! 

HuiQi♡

25may!

ell hello! ^_^
hehe so long since I've updated this space??? so sorry ))-:
so currently this is the tenth day and i will be heading back home later yay kinda miss my parents though.. (wut)
anyway, when was the last time i went to the beach???!?!?!?
I'll let photos speak.

so yep, i have always liked going to the beach and all bc it makes me feel relaxed & my negative thoughts will be gone. kinda fun today & i enjoyed myself yay, 

& sherry! if you are reading this ((tsk)) thanks for this great 10 days of stay & taking great care of me like my sister hehe although sometimes you are really mean )): heheh saranghaeyo ♡

well, bye for now! ((-:

thanks for reading! 

10days.

Hello! Just an update heheh.
Just a few facts about me ! :)
1 - I'm a Running Man fan and a serious drama addict
2- I get high all the time when im with my close friends
3- I like the color sky blue!
4- I get insecure very easily.
5- My favorite Running Man member is Jaesuk! He is very funny hehe.
6- I get emotional easily.
7- I tend to rely on people a lot
8- I don't fancy being lonely.
9- I like to sing but my voice cmi.............................
10- I'm extremely short like, 153cm? HAHA :<

...................................................................................................................................................................

So yep! My parents are currently overseas ( they took their flight at 4 am in the morning) and I'm currently staying over my best friend's house yay.  AND YAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Well, my parents are overseas for ten days so that explains the title lol. Today is day 1. ^_^

 Well then, good luck on the results! (:

 Till then!
 x

7March2014.

X-country 2014.
PROBABLY THE MOST MEMORABLE X-COUNTRY EVER.
WELL, ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T GET A GOOD POSITION, BUT AT LEAST I'VE COMPLETED THE RUN HEHEHEZ
SO LET PHOTOS SPEAK.
(( PARDON MY FACE I WAS TOO TIRED FROM THE RUN))
(( sorry, if it's blur, bad camera quality haha oops))

 MMM KFC IS PERFECT AFTER A RUN.

so far, it's a fun experience. What to say, everyone did their best!! GOOD JOB! AND BROWN HOUSE IMPROVED! HEHEHE <3
BROWNIES UNITE!

AND, SELFIE TO END OFF THIS POST! ^_^