Some people call me a perfectionist.
I will.... agree to that.
I set quixotic standards for myself. Sometimes, I feel like my best isn't satisfactory, I will do again and again, until I felt it was good enough.
I guess my study environment really matters. Everyone is like of a higher standard than me, perspective wise. They obtained really low points for their national exams, regardless whether it's N or O levels. ( the lower the points, the better)
Yes, i did obtain a single digit. But I am a VERY slow learner in the first place, i had to persevere and work harder to be " up there" . I still feel inferior surrounded by lots of people being better than me. It's as if they did it effortlessly. I did it with sheer hard work and determination. To whoever who reads this, might find this point quite unilateral. Maybe it's just my point of view. But i have to live everyday in fear of dropping out of pfp, revising often so i will be on par with others. It may sound attention seeking, and i apologize if people this irritating. However, this is how I genuinely feel and I felt like I should vent it out.
For example, i prepared two whole nights for my first presentation, memorizing the script and talking to mirror a million times. I screwed it up. My teacher praised everyone and all I got was a " you didn't manage to catch everyone's attention. " Perhaps it was because I felt trepidatious that made me stumble through my words. I felt like my efforts weren't appreciated.
I hope i can do better next time.
Monday, 25 May 2015
Sunday, 24 May 2015
Thursday, 14 May 2015
让我们重新来过
AYEEEEEE GUYS! I'M (FINALLY) ＢＡＣＫ ＷＩＴＨ Ａ ＮＥＷ ＵＰＤＡＴＥ．
Ｉ ＷＩＬＬ ＤＯ Ａ ＢＬＯＧ ＲＥＶＡＭＰ．(I won't remove my previous posts as I will keep them as memories (: )
ＳＯ ＩＮＳＴＥＡＤ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＵＳＵＡＬ ＥＭＯ ＰＯＳＴＳ ＡＮＤ ＡＬＬ， ＴＨＩＳ ＴＩＭＥ，（ＪＥＮＧ ＪＥＮＧ ＪＥＮＧ）I'LL POST MY DAILY LIFE TOO! ^_^
SO FIRST OF ALL, I have graduated from secondary school. I'm currently studying in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Yes, I WAS initially proud of my achievements, like c'mon !! I've worked so hard to achieve a single digit for my national exams. OKIE, it's past tense because I realised that there are so many people who scored 6 points or below in my own class. Just tell me how depressing is that. SOOOOO, I was devastated and completely drained out even after 3 weeks of starting school.
okie, let me explain. Firstly, I don't take amath and pure physics. AND I'M LEARNING THEM NOW ASDFGHJKLWEFCJDBSHVBFERVF. I nearly died internally. I felt like screaming at my lecturer. Well, I wouldn't say the maths teacher is bad, since she was patiently teaching me because I just have so many questions !@#$%^&*. I HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES WITH MY PHYSICS TEACHER. She is a super old lecturer, you may think old is good, since she should be more experienced. BUT NONO. SHE SUCKS. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT SHE'S TEACHING AT ALL. There was once, she said we could ask questions. GUESS WHAT ?! I went to ask, and she said she doesn't wanna explain anymore. WTF? THEN WHY TF DID U SAY WE COULD ASK QUESTIONS IF WE DONT UNDERSTAND?! SO I GAVE UP ON THIS LECTURER.
Futhermore, I have a CCA and a part time job. IT SURE ISN'T EASY TO JUGGLE THEM ALL.
Look, I'm already having problems with my school assignments, now what? CCA. monday I end at 9 thanks to CCA. Tuesday I start from 8AM IN THE MORNING UNTIL 5PM WIEFHCRENGYRGNUIWE. /CRIES/ Wednesday I have CCA again. I had tried 2 weeks of this hectic schedule. I tell you, I ALMOST DIED. I HAD FEVER JUST LAST NIGHT, AND I SEVERELY LACK SLEEP. after cca, I still have to rush assignments at home. so yep, I'm probably considering to quit.
SECONDLY, there's obviously advantages after I entered the poly route.
One month ago, I went for the pfp camp. I have to say, it was amazing. One of the best camp I've ever been to. I met many new friends there, including seniors and coursemates. I was initially saddened by the fact that I was in separate groups as my secondary school friends. Those people in my group have been friends since secondary school... So yeah, I felt left out at first. The second night the seniors tricked as that there will be a night walk where we walk through the haunted buildings in school. I BELIEVED THEM WTF. IN THE END, IT WAS JUST A "CLUBBING" HOPNIGHT.
jumped like CRAZY. So yeah, thanks to camp, I made many new friends. First day of school wasn't that bad. Though I have to apologise for not going camp outings as I have to work. ):
MOVING ON~
many things happened recently.
The person that I thought I could always depend on, nearly wanted to leave.
hate how so little things affect me this much, because I couldn't concentrate on my assignments at all that day. //
I have so many things to tell you. But I just can't seem to have the courage to.
I would like to thank you, for being by my side when no one else was.
I would like to thank you, for tolerating my nonsense when I'm at lowest.
I would like to thank you, for bringing such great joy to my life.
I would like to thank you, for pushing me on to perserve on things when I feel like quitting.
I would like to thank you, for picking up my late night calls when I was crying and shouting internally.
I would like to thank you, for cheering me up, when I needed to talk to you that much.
I would like to thank you, for inspiring me to learn more new things, to explore around, so I wouldn't feel so inferior of myself.
I would like to thank you, for telling me all your wise words and advices when I needed them most.
I would like to thank you, for understanding my woes when no one else does.
I would like to thank you, for letting me know that I should hold on to the things that I love.
I would like to thank you, for coming into my life.
You don't know how much you mean to me.
In the end, you're still here.
That's all for this post I guess! Thanks for reading, love y'all <3
Till next time!
Ｉ ＷＩＬＬ ＤＯ Ａ ＢＬＯＧ ＲＥＶＡＭＰ．(I won't remove my previous posts as I will keep them as memories (: )
ＳＯ ＩＮＳＴＥＡＤ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＵＳＵＡＬ ＥＭＯ ＰＯＳＴＳ ＡＮＤ ＡＬＬ， ＴＨＩＳ ＴＩＭＥ，（ＪＥＮＧ ＪＥＮＧ ＪＥＮＧ）I'LL POST MY DAILY LIFE TOO! ^_^
SO FIRST OF ALL, I have graduated from secondary school. I'm currently studying in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Yes, I WAS initially proud of my achievements, like c'mon !! I've worked so hard to achieve a single digit for my national exams. OKIE, it's past tense because I realised that there are so many people who scored 6 points or below in my own class. Just tell me how depressing is that. SOOOOO, I was devastated and completely drained out even after 3 weeks of starting school.
okie, let me explain. Firstly, I don't take amath and pure physics. AND I'M LEARNING THEM NOW ASDFGHJKLWEFCJDBSHVBFERVF. I nearly died internally. I felt like screaming at my lecturer. Well, I wouldn't say the maths teacher is bad, since she was patiently teaching me because I just have so many questions !@#$%^&*. I HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES WITH MY PHYSICS TEACHER. She is a super old lecturer, you may think old is good, since she should be more experienced. BUT NONO. SHE SUCKS. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT SHE'S TEACHING AT ALL. There was once, she said we could ask questions. GUESS WHAT ?! I went to ask, and she said she doesn't wanna explain anymore. WTF? THEN WHY TF DID U SAY WE COULD ASK QUESTIONS IF WE DONT UNDERSTAND?! SO I GAVE UP ON THIS LECTURER.
Futhermore, I have a CCA and a part time job. IT SURE ISN'T EASY TO JUGGLE THEM ALL.
Look, I'm already having problems with my school assignments, now what? CCA. monday I end at 9 thanks to CCA. Tuesday I start from 8AM IN THE MORNING UNTIL 5PM WIEFHCRENGYRGNUIWE. /CRIES/ Wednesday I have CCA again. I had tried 2 weeks of this hectic schedule. I tell you, I ALMOST DIED. I HAD FEVER JUST LAST NIGHT, AND I SEVERELY LACK SLEEP. after cca, I still have to rush assignments at home. so yep, I'm probably considering to quit.
SECONDLY, there's obviously advantages after I entered the poly route.
One month ago, I went for the pfp camp. I have to say, it was amazing. One of the best camp I've ever been to. I met many new friends there, including seniors and coursemates. I was initially saddened by the fact that I was in separate groups as my secondary school friends. Those people in my group have been friends since secondary school... So yeah, I felt left out at first. The second night the seniors tricked as that there will be a night walk where we walk through the haunted buildings in school. I BELIEVED THEM WTF. IN THE END, IT WAS JUST A "CLUBBING" HOPNIGHT.
jumped like CRAZY. So yeah, thanks to camp, I made many new friends. First day of school wasn't that bad. Though I have to apologise for not going camp outings as I have to work. ):
MOVING ON~
many things happened recently.
The person that I thought I could always depend on, nearly wanted to leave.
hate how so little things affect me this much, because I couldn't concentrate on my assignments at all that day. //
I have so many things to tell you. But I just can't seem to have the courage to.
I would like to thank you, for being by my side when no one else was.
I would like to thank you, for tolerating my nonsense when I'm at lowest.
I would like to thank you, for bringing such great joy to my life.
I would like to thank you, for pushing me on to perserve on things when I feel like quitting.
I would like to thank you, for picking up my late night calls when I was crying and shouting internally.
I would like to thank you, for cheering me up, when I needed to talk to you that much.
I would like to thank you, for inspiring me to learn more new things, to explore around, so I wouldn't feel so inferior of myself.
I would like to thank you, for telling me all your wise words and advices when I needed them most.
I would like to thank you, for understanding my woes when no one else does.
I would like to thank you, for letting me know that I should hold on to the things that I love.
I would like to thank you, for coming into my life.
You don't know how much you mean to me.
In the end, you're still here.
That's all for this post I guess! Thanks for reading, love y'all <3
Till next time!
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