I miss Swiss.

Some of you may know, I'm severely socially awkward.
Well, one of the most obvious one is, I can't maintain eye contact with people I'm not close with. I find it very awkward haha like i'm scared to look at them in the eye or something.
I find it very hard to open up to people I'm not close to. For instance, if i'm very quiet with you, means I dont feel close to you. if I'm close to you, I will be crazy and loud as hell. Probably one of the top reasons I'm so quiet in school now? HAHA i dont feel close to anyone in school. I miss secondary school. I miss the fun there. Funny how I wanted to leave secondary school so much but now I kept wanting to go back. I don't know. In secondary school, I can be myself, and open up to people easier. I can be happy just sticking around in school. Still feeling nostalgic about the good and bad times I had.
Staying back after school just to watch people play basketball. ( because my classroom used to be near to the basketball court) Having so much fun in art class because we could chitchat, blast music, and use phone. ( Swiss dont allow phones) I miss wearing school uniform. Still remember how I always remove all my ear studs, pin up fringe and wear long skirt just for attire check LOL. #guaikia I miss my teachers, constantly reminding us to study, yet our form teacher spends time to play games with us after school. ( games like jenga) I miss pe lessons. They used to be the most fun. I always dreaded them, but now that i have snw in poly, i think i prefer pe lessons in secondary school soooooooooooo much more. After leaving swiss, I came to a realization. I actually love being in swiss a lot. I didnt realize that until I left, and being thrown into a completely new environment. I can't seem to fit in. I do try, though. Being in Swiss made me grow a lot too. I learnt so much. Friendships and all. Although there were so many hard times I faced, but I got through it, and moved on. This helped me to be stronger, and learn to stand up for myself. Yes, I miss Swiss. So much.
And I wish............. i have a time machine, and rethink my choices.
sorry if this post sounded so emo, just wanna share my thoughts.
Thanks for reading, have a pleasant day ahead! :)